My journey to this blog started about a year ago when I was feeling particularly low and down on myself and generally unsatisfied with my life. Even though I had a beautiful family and a beautiful home, I was constantly feeling that I was doing something wrong and that I wasn’t enough.
That was when I decided I didn’t want to suffer anymore. I was ready to take matters into my own hands and do something to help myself feel better. I’d been going to counselling for almost a year by then, the crisis had passed, and I felt ready to start moving forward. I felt it was time to not just tread water but start making gains and start building up my emotional stores.
I did something that I never thought I would do and signed up for a 12 week Wholehearted Coaching online program run by an incredible coach and mentor Neghar Fonooni. I won’t go into the details of the program and will just say that it was worth every penny and every minute that I spent doing all the work that comes with it.
What I will share with you, however, are three steps to building the most basic and fundamental skill that I took away from the program and that transformed me forever.
Simply put, it is a new morning routine, where you get to take some time for yourself. No guilt, no shame, and no rush.
On a daily basis we do so much running around all day taking care of everyone else, that we completely forget about ourselves and our own needs.
We remember to feed the kids, water the plants, walk the dogs, forgive other people’s mistakes, and call our friends to ask them how they are doing. We do this every. single. day. Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months and maybe years go by before we realize that we have been taking care of everyone else, but ourselves. We have such enormous stores of energy and internal drive to serve others that we don’t notice right away that we are depleting them without restoring. Until we burn out.
We start reading self-help books and blogs and they all seem to say that we MUST take time for ourselves.
Sure, that sounds lovely. But how do you actually do it?? When do I get to do that? How do I find that time? My day is already packed from sun up to sun down!
That’s where the morning routine comes in.
The Morning Routine.
The Morning Routine itself is very SIMPLE and only consists of 3 steps.
- Wake up 20-30 minutes earlier than usual.
- Make yourself a cup of tea (or coffee)
- Write down 3 things you are grateful for that morning.
If that’s all the time you have, then you can stop there and this will be enough to make a positive change in your life. I promise!
If you have a few more minutes left to spend on yourself, I encourage you to spend them in quiet contemplation, writing in a journal or a mindfulness meditation.
That’s it, just 3 steps. You an do it!
“BUT WHY WOULD I CUT MY SLEEP SHORT??”, you ask…
Because you are WORTH it, of course!
Because you NEED this time first thing in the morning to be by yourself, make yourself your favourite beverage, and relax!
You NEED to write in your journal, acknowledge your feelings and sensations, make yourself a priority for once that day!
If all you have is 10 minutes, then just make yourself a cup of something you like (NOT alcohol) and just BREATHE. That’s it. You can write in your gratitude journal in the evening, if that works better for you. That’s ok too!
This habit will change your life. This is the foundation upon which you can build after, when you are ready. Everything starts here, in these first minutes of your morning.
My First Morning Routine
My first day of this new routine was brutal, I’m not going to pretend like it was all kittens and unicorns.
Waking up in the morning is not my thing. Period. Waking up a half hour early is just asking for too much! But I did it. I did it because I paid my hard-earned money for this program and I was going to see it through.
So I woke up and I dragged myself to the kitchen.
I put the kettle on and I stared at it until it boiled.
I made myself a cup of ginger and lemon tea.
At that moment I felt so warm and so loved! I felt taken cared of like I haven’t felt in a very long time.
It was so moving to realize just how long I have gone without paying attention to my own most basic needs, I almost cried from feeling bad for myself.
For the first time in a long time I felt that there was hope. Hope that it doesn’t have to be this way and I won’t have to wait this long for feeling loved the next time. I was loved and cared for and I was worthy of that love.
That morning and that cup of ginger and lemon tea was the beginning of everything that came afterwards (including that mug – I was NOT the best mom ever at that time). Throughout the year, my morning routine has taken a hit here and there, had shrunk and extended, journals started and finished, and yet I have always come back to it. These days, when I’m feeling low, all I need to do is think about that cup of lemon and ginger tea and I feel that hope come back. I am loved, I am cared for, I am worthy.
My sincere hope and plan for this blog is for it to become that cup of ginger and lemon tea to those who are feeling low and struggling with feelings of inadequacy and feeling low. Those, who are constantly caring for others and are not aware that they too need to be taken care of. I feel compelled to share what I have learned, how I have changed, and encourage you with my story. I want to help you feel that same hope that I felt – you CAN feel better, you can take care of you first, you too can make YOURSELF a cup of tea before you make one for anyone else.
Do you have a similar routine? Perhaps you do it in the evening? Do you write in a journal?
Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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